Lack Of Boundaries & Intimacy

It took me a while to figure out that it’s possible to remain open while maintaining my boundaries.

This is something we already knew as kids, without hesitation we said yes to what we wanted and no to what we didn’t feel comfortable with.

Things changed when we began compromising our authentic feelings in order to avoid rejection or the feeling of abandonment.

Afraid of both rejection or being overwhelmed by others, I would either choose to overshare or just completely shut down.

In such a state of deep doubt about ourselves and what we authentically want in the moment, there’s no way that we could ever experience true intimacy.

Intimacy is a basic need for us as humans. It is our ability to open and let ourselves be seen by others, whatever mood we happen to be in. And of course to also hold space for others, regardless of their situation.

This natural flow cannot take place if we are doubting, compromising, or rejecting ourselves in order to maintain approval. Ultimately this is inauthentic both to ourselves and others.